What do you see or who do you think of when you see freesia? The simple beauty of freesia always amazes me. It reminds me of her. We are just opposite; she does not fall for dazzling beauty but seek for simplicity; I prefer colorful clothes and fancy accessories for it suits me better. What looks good on her usually do not look good on me. That is a pity. Nevertheless, we understand each other's taste so well that we can always tell what would look good on each other. We respect our different taste and uniqueness.
Her pure innocence perfectly suits the saying of freesia. Freesia stands for "Innocence". I also think of inner strength when I see it. What makes it beautiful is its kind look with strong will, as people are dragged into freesia for its delicate figure, but later on they will finally understand that most of the times softness get over hardness in their lives. Since I myself, being a tough person, has been told by my mom to be "soft" to be a true winner. I have always admired her for the way she talks, she behaves, she communicates with other, and how she solves problems.
She blossoms like freesia. She has a springlike smile and freesia tells us that spring is on its way. As much as freesia is loved for its fragrance, her body is covered with flowery fragrance as if she used flower based perfume. I told her many times that she smells so good, and there are times I wish I could be such a fragrant person too. Her springlike smell and fragrance bring up warm and comfortable atmosphere, no wonder I think of her when I saw the field of freesia. I never get sick of being around her just like no one gets sick of being around flowers.
Another saying of freesia is "friendship". She is such a friendly and loveable person. She often tells me I am her most precious friend, which I am very proud of. She is a good listener and she cares about other people, and their feelings. "Leia, you are the dearest friend to me, and I would like to listen to your stories and just want to be on your side. I try my best to understand your happiness and sadness and try to be with you when you go through all of these in your life."
Freesia is also loved for the way it dries. When I see the dry freesia, I also imagine how she is going to be like when we get older. I guess she would probably be a kind, elegant old flower with a warm heart. As dried freesia is as loved as when it is fresh, I believe she would be as popular as now even in her latter days. I still want to be with her and be on her side no matter what.
Hi! This is Dana Eun and here's my feedback on your essay.
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is the vocabulary and sentence structure. It mademe feel like I was reading a book or a novel. Also I liked how you chose certain object to reflect the person you want to describe. It was nicely done.
2. I would choose 'freesia' to describe your mother's character. It's not about specific information but as you kept on saying how you see your mother in freesia, it's kind of stamped in my head as freesia also.
3. The part where you talk about the springlike smell of your mother was bit vague. I couldn't imagine any frangrance when you said springlike smell. Maybe you could use more specific terms on frangrance like pinetree, grass or ocean breeze.
4. The organization of your essay is neat and well divided. I like how you wrote each similar points of freesia and your mother in each paragraph. It was easy to read and understand your description. If there can be an improvement, I would say that adding a conclusion would do.
5. I would like to know more about how your mother actually looks. Your essay is more focused on the personality and traits. But adding more details about appearnce like what kind of hair she has or how her eyes look like could give the readers better ideas about the person you're talking about and can visualize that person.
6. I think your mother would be interested in reading this essay. She would feel how much you care about her and how much you look up to her. And that could mean the world to her and give lots of strength to be greater mother to you.
This person is like freesia due to her innocence, her friendship and the people’s appreciation of the way she will get older. The evidences that support this idea are in the second paragraph “Her pure innocence perfectly suits the saying of freesia. Freesia stands for "Innocence".” while in the fourth paragraph “Another saying of freesia is "friendship". She is such a friendly and loveable person.” In the last one, it is said that “As dried freesia is as loved as when it is fresh, I believe she would be as popular as now even in her latter days.”. To reveal the person’s character, you used briefly what the person looked like “She has a springlike smile”, what the person said “Leia, you are the dearest friend to me, and I would like to listen to your stories and just want to be on your side. I try my best to understand your happiness and sadness and try to be with you when you go through all of these in your life” and what the person did “She often tells me I am her most precious friend, which I am very proud of. She is a good listener and she cares about other people, and their feelings.” I couldn’t understand the third sentence of the first paragraph “I prefer colorful clothes and fancy accessories for it suits me better.” You probably chose to describe this particular person because she means a lot to the writer. As possible questions to answer in the next draft would be “What other people say directly about her?” Or to develop concretely what the person looks like.
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