Jazzy carols are streaming out of the speaker and smell of coffee beans is floating in the air. I look around to find my friend and someone waves her hand after noticing me. At the left corner, Alexandra is sitting with her laptop and a cup of coffee. It's only been three months since I met her in one of my classes but it doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable at all.
"I'm from Moscow, Russia, as you know and my parents are actually both Koreans." She began to talk naturally. "I was born there and grew up there my entire life going to Russian schools but I always knew in my heart that I also belong to a country called Korea." Though it was not something I expected, it made our conversation much more interesting and grabbed my attention to the fullest. She continued on saying "my great grandparents moved to Russia in 1940s and the Russian government forced them to move to southern part of Russia thinking they were Japanese. They were supposed to starve to death, that's what the government actually wanted of them. But they managed to live with the help of seeds that they brought from Korea. They cultivated crops and that's how the life of Korean-Russians started."
After taking a sip of coffee, she told me about how she began to build her connection between Korea and herself. According to Alexandra, there is a Korean community in Moscow and people organize several education programs regarding Korean studies – language and culture mostly. In elementary school, she was fascinated by Korean dance and she started taking dance class in the community center during every vacation. With a light smile she seemed like she was recalling those memories. "I visited Korea a few times before coming to HUFS for dance camps and stuff. The more I learned, the more interested I became so I decided to attend university in Korea."
When I asked how it was to adjust in Korea at the beginning, she answered without hesitation that it definitely was challenging. "I couldn't speak Korean very well back then and I really didn't have someone to talk to and share my feelings and thoughts. I used to call my family six times a day." She let out that laughter of embarrassment. "And to be honest, I did regret coming here. It was so different from what I thought. I couldn't feel certain belonging at all. But after a year, I made friends here and got used to life in Korea. I realized the quality of life I can enjoy here." It's been four years since she came to Korea, and now she finds this place comfortable and dynamic. She also added that she doesn't regret her choice at all and although there were tough times, it all helped her to grow and be who she is right now.
"Of course, there are things that I find distressing in Korea. The biggest one is the characteristic of collectivism that Koreans have." She explained how susceptible Koreans are in trend and how much of group life is implicitly forced to individuals. At first this was one aspect she could not understand and deal with at the beginning. A celebrity wears something and instantly that becomes a trend and everybody has the same item. When she was freshman, she did not want to go for a drink but she had to because it was part of school activity and seniors said that this kind of get together is necessary. This is something that I always found disagreeable in Korean society and I was pleasantly surprised that she also saw this as negative side. However, I could see and feel the affection that she has for this country and she was willing to say proudly that she is Korean.
"I want to stay here and explore Korea outside the school. I don't know if I want to stay here for further future like getting married and spending rest of my life in Korea, but I am positive on staying here after my graduation. There are so many things that we can see, learn and do! We're young and I feel like I want to experience more than just student life here." Flash of excitement and passion were flickering in her eyes behind the round glasses. It was always interesting to see Korea in a foreigner's perspective as more and more people visit Korea. Though there are many things that Korea should improve, I was genuinely happy to see that a friend, a foreigner, a Korean-Russian was more than satisfied with her life in Korea.
Hi I am SEA HEE CHOI.
ReplyDelete1. I liked your essay especially the introduction part. Because, I could feel, smell and see the atmosphere. The length was enough as well.
2. I think your essay was pretty clear that I understood every sentence that you wrote.
3. The most important idea that emerged from the interview is that I can feel your friend has a pride being Korean.
4. "I was born there and grew up there my entire life going to Russian schools but I always knew in my heart that I also belong to a country called Korea." I think this direct quotation was effective.
5. I think the number of quotations were enough.
6. I think it will be much better if you put more details on how she acted throughout the interview.
Hi! I am Joo Hyun LEE. I loved reading your writing, it was really well-written, genuine and interesting! I liked the introductory part the most because it helped attracting immediately the readers’ sight with the overall warm atmosphere of the cafe. You used most of the 5 senses in a short paragraph of 4 sentences which was something we learned in class and it was actually effectively used; the auditory sense with “Jazzy carols”, the olfactory sense “smell of coffee beans” and finally the sight with “someone waves her hand after noticing me”. To me, there were no place where you were ambiguous; your essay was pretty clear. Besides, the most important idea that emerged from the interview was that I could feel your friend’s pride of being Korean. The thesis statement might be "I was born there and grew up there my entire life going to Russian schools but I always knew in my heart that I also belong to a country called Korea." In fact, the sentence stated above was also effective as a direct quotation. Besides, I think that the number of quotations were adequate and well-balanced between the direct and the indirect quotations. Maybe one suggestion: it might be better to put the introductory part in the past to concord with the rest of the writing.
ReplyDeleteWriter's Plan for Revising
ReplyDelete1. Conducting the interview was fairly easy because the interviewee was willing to answer the questions to the fullest. And the story itself was interesting enough to make this interview go smooth. If I had a chance to do the interview over, I would prefer to go some place more quiet and also, do some more background check.
2. I liked how I used many direct quotations because it just reminded me of the interview sessions and I could feel the emotion that my friend had.
3. I missed some details in what she liked about Korea's quality of life. She told me how transportation, Wi-Fi, and infrastructures are helpful to citizens of Seoul. I will add them to the fourth paragraph when I revise my first draft.
Hi This is MinGu. Your writing was great. What I liked the most about this writing was the way all the questions were related, rather than being a series of different questions. The writing itself was clear, but I would like it more if you could fix the first paragraph. I understand that you tried to form the atmosphere of your essay, but including more details about your friend could give a better hint for the readers to imagine.
ReplyDeleteI loved the quotation "I was born there and grew up there my entire life going to Russian schools but I always knew in my heart that I also belong to a country called Korea." It created the whole atmosphere and it also seemed to be the most important idea throughout the essay. The essay had adequate amount of quotations, and like you said above, if you could include a little bit more about the details, it would be great.
Final draft
ReplyDeleteJazzy carols are streaming out of the speaker and smell of coffee beans is floating in the air. I look around to find my friend and someone waves her hand after noticing me. At the left corner, Alexandra is sitting with her laptop and a cup of coffee. Wearing round glasses that looks like the one Harry Potter has, she hurriedly cleans the table to make room for me. Her black hair looks sleek as always and she smiles at me as I approach. It’s only been three months since I met her in one of my classes but it doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable at all.
“I’m from Moscow, Russia, as you know and my parents are actually both Koreans.” She began to talk naturally. “I was born there and grew up there my entire life going to Russian schools but I always knew in my heart that I also belong to a country called Korea.” Though it was not something I expected, it made our conversation much more fascinating and grabbed my attention to the fullest. She continued on saying “my great grandparents moved to Russia in 1940s and the Russian government forced them to move to southern part of Russia thinking they were Japanese. They were supposed to starve to death, that’s what the government actually wanted of them. But they managed to live with the help of seeds that they brought from Korea. They cultivated crops and that’s how the life of Korean-Russians started.”
After taking a sip of coffee, she told me about how she began to build her connection between Korea and herself. According to Alexandra, there is a Korean community in Moscow and people organize several education programs regarding Korean studies – language and culture mostly. In elementary school, she was fascinated by Korean dance and she started taking dance class in the community center during every vacation. With a light smile she seemed like she was recalling those memories of her childhood. “I visited Korea a few times before coming to HUFS for dance camps and stuff. The more I learned, the more interested I became so I decided to attend university in Korea.”
When I asked how it was to adjust in Korea at the beginning, she answered without hesitation that it definitely was challenging. “I couldn’t speak Korean very well back then and I really didn’t have someone to talk to and share my feelings and thoughts. I used to call my family six times a day.” She let out that laughter of embarrassment. “And to be honest, I did regret coming here. It was so different from what I thought. I couldn’t feel certain belonging at all. But after a year, I made friends and got used to life in Korea. Then, I realized the quality of life I can enjoy here.” It’s been four years since she came to Korea, and now she finds this place comfortable and dynamic. Transportation, wireless connection and 24 hour convenience stores are some things that amaze her even till now. She also added that she doesn’t regret her choice at all and although there were tough times, it all helped her to grow and be who she is right now.
“Of course, there are things that I find distressing in Korea. The biggest one is the characteristic of collectivism that Koreans have.” She explained how susceptible Koreans are in trend and how much of group life is implicitly forced to individuals. At first this was one aspect she could not understand and deal with at the beginning. A celebrity wears something and instantly that becomes a trend and everybody has the same item. When she was freshman, she did not want to go for a drink but she had to because it was part of school activity and seniors said that this kind of get together is necessary. This is something that I always found disagreeable in Korean society and I was pleasantly surprised that she also saw this as negative side. However, I could see and feel the affection that she has for this country and she was willing to say proudly that she is Korean.
ReplyDelete“I want to stay here and explore Korea outside the school. I don’t know if I want to stay here for further future like getting married and spending rest of my life in Korea, but I am positive on staying here after my graduation. There are so many things that we can see, learn and do! We’re young and I feel like I want to experience more than just student life here.” Flash of excitement and passion were flickering in her eyes behind the round glasses. It was always intriguing to see Korea in a foreigner’s perspective as more and more people visit Korea. Though there are many things that Korea should improve, I was genuinely happy to see that a friend, a foreigner, a Korean-Russian was more than satisfied with her life in Korea.