Do you know how it feels when you should have to move to another country for a long time and leave behind your family and friends? I'm gonna explain you my first experience when I was arrived at this country called South Korea. It's so awkward because my parents are totally Korean, but I was born in Spain and when I was younger, I learned Korean but not at all. Only the simple things. But suddenly, I was very curious about the country of my parents because all of my friends asked me from there, but I couldn't answer anything for the reason that I didn't know it any kind of thing about Korea.
So, my decision was moving to Korea alone for learn by myself all of the country with nobody's help and I tried to situated in the asian culture. I took the opportunity for study here and now is my third year since I came at Seoul. It's really long time but, it was so hard for me that I feel like this was my first year.
I had many complications living here. First, I couldn't be able to talk very well Korean and I used to communicate with signs. You can saw this like a very common problem between foreigners, but for me was more sad because I have the asian features and all the citizens looked me like "She's Korean.. How she didn't know this?". Because of this reasons, I tried to learn speedly the language.
Second, I really didn't know anything about the culture and costums. In the special dates like Chuseok, I went to the grandparents house and there, I met all my family for part of my parents that I didn't saw them since 12 years ago. They really care about me, but a lot of times they didn't understand me because of my different culture and attitude. I can do things for help them but they can receipt this information in another way. Actually, it's still hard to tract them, but when you are in another country, you need to mentalize that you are the stranger and strive for make clear your purposes.
I will never forget my journey about living here because it's being a very good experience for myself and living without my people forces me to grow more fast for my future independent life. And I think that live in another country helps you to have a broader view.
Hi Sharon!
ReplyDeleteYour essay seemed very real when you described how you tried to communicate by using signals with your hands. I can understand how it must have been difficult for you to first encounter Korean traditions and cultures such as Chuseok. I was a little confused on what miscommunication you had faced on those occasions. Maybe you could elaborate? I really liked your 1st paragraph. Your question about moving to another country definitely grabbed my attention. I noticed that you used past tense for most of your writing until the end, which was in future tense and I really thought that was a good idea to end the essay on self reflection of the past and say how you feel about the whole experience in the present moment. Your essay was really interesting and I think it would be even more appealing if you could add specific examples of situations you went through.
See you in class! :) - Hye Hyon Kim
Hi Sharon! It was great reading your essay about your experience in Korea. I could definitely feel your sincerity. Surprisingly, we had something in common! During my childhood, I also lived abroad in London and in Paris and when I was admitted in a foreign high school in Korea about 7 years ago, our family decided to move into Korea. It was my first time receiving a Korean education at school which was completely different from understanding daily life Korean. It was a bit hard to adapt myself in this new environment but thanks to my friends, teachers and my family, I managed to. The decision about moving was in part due to the question of my identity. Even though my life in France was pleasant, my appearance was obviously different from the Europeans. As my French friends asked me about the Korean culture or customs, I frankly didn’t know so much. So I thought it would be better to go to my mother country and learn more about it.
DeleteConcerning the places that were a bit difficult to understand or had grammar mistakes were in the first paragraph, it might have been better if you have put a “you” after the preposition “behind” and in the following sentence by changing “gonna” into “going to” as this is pretty much a formal writing, also using the expression “explain to somebody about something” and instead of the preposition “at” switching into “in” as South Korea is a country. In the next sentence, it would be better to put the verb tense in the past for the consistency “it was awkward”, put the noun in plural “my parents are Koreans”. In the last sentence of the first paragraph, I think that changing the expression “my parents’ country” would shorten the length of the sentence, or changing into “all of my friends“ into “all my friends” and instead of “any kind of thing” into “anything”.
In the second paragraph, “was to” would be better as it was a goal and change the preposition “for” into “to” for the expression “learn by myself”, the expression “all of the country” into “everything about this country” or “all about this country”. It was confusing about the expression “I tried to situate in the Asian culture”, I couldn’t understand, maybe you could change into another sentence. After, it would be better to say “I took the opportunity for studying and this is now my third year since I came to Seoul”. Using the present perfect would have been better as it started in the past and continues in the present “It has been a great amount of time”.
As for the third paragraph, I think that adding a subject would be easier to understand “but for me, it was sadder” and adding a preposition “looked at me”. In the following sentence, as “reasons” is in plural, it would be better to switch into “these reasons” and change the adverb “speedly” into “faster”, “fast” or “rapidly”.
DeleteIn the fourth paragraph, I think you have misspelled the word “custom” and instead of “special dates” which is vague “On national holidays” might be easier to understand. The expression “my grandparents’ house” would be better and it was a bit confusing to read “for part of my parents”, maybe you wanted to say “I met all my family as a representative of my parents”. I believe that separating the following sentence would be better otherwise it is too long, the subject not being clear and you used both “since” and “ago” which are confusing, proposing you with ”actually I haven’t seen them for 12 years.” As time is an uncountable noun, I think it would be better to say “a great amount of time”. Besides, we need to be consistent in the verb tenses, so I think “they don’t understand me because of the difference in culture and attitude”. The next sentence could be changed into “I can help them/ I can do things to help them but there is a misunderstanding/ they sometimes misunderstand me” because the choice of the verb “receipt” is a bit awkward in this situation. It was also difficult to understand the next sentence due to the words “tract” or “mentalize” and change the preposition “for” into “strive to”, so you might change in another one.
In the last paragraph, I think it would be better to mention again “Korea” instead of “here” so that the meaning could be clear as you changed the paragraph. Also, I believe that using the present perfect would match better with the situation “it has been a good experience” as it started in the past and still continues in the present and instead of “more fast” changing into ”faster”. In the last sentence, it would be better to change “live” into “life” or “living” as it’s a noun place.
Besides, I strongly believe that if you reedit your essay, it would be even better than your current essay. I look forward reading your final draft. I would also like to praise you for your courage to come in Korea and study alone!
Hi Sharon. This is Dana Eun.
ReplyDeleteI must say that I really enjoyed reading your essay about your first experience of living in Korea. I could visualize a girl with asian features making effort to communicate with others which means the description was very good. It also reminded me of my first time in the states. I could only use body language to talk to others at the beginning. I also think the organization of your writing was neat. It was easy to follow when reading it.
There's only one thing that I feel lack of in this writing. On the second complication you met in Korea, you described well what part of communication was misleading to your families. But it would've been much better if you gave specific example of how this miscommunication happened and how you resolved it.
Great essay and see you in class !