| Have you ever felt like there is no one you can ask for help? I bet probably almost everyone had the feeling. When you first go into university, when it is the first day you are doing the part-time job, or even when you are doing the assignments for the classes that you are taking by yourself.
For me, I have always gotten nervous when I needed help on something. Also, I was afraid of asking something to other people. When I needed help, I thank these ways. "What if it's too obvious question?"' "What if people think I am such a stupid person who doesn't even know how to solve that simple thing?", and "What if they don't even understand my question?". I always had the feeling that other people might think I am fool when I needed to ask something.
But, I had turning point. It was 3 years ago. I had chance to travel over the Europe. The first country I visited was Germany. I know that they are quite good at English. However, in reality, people who can fluently speak English were few. I wished nothing happens. But, things go different way, the "muff-effect". I lost my way. I was totally lost. I had to ask people if I was to make it to my way back to hostel. I started to get really nervous. My hands were shaking really fast, like I was doing a presentation in front of class. I was thinking "what if people don't understand my English?, "what if they do something wrong, after knowing I am a foreigner here?," and even "what if they think I am such a fool who cannot even locate oneself?". I stood there for 20 minutes, just to realize that there is no way except asking people for help.
I went into one of the market and bought a small candy. I asked the clerk the way to get back to my hostel with very small, unconfident voice. Then, something unexpected happened. Although the clerk was not very fluent in English, he slowly and generously told me the way. I drew me a map and also, he even saw me off outside the market. It wasn't what I expected.
From then, I gained confidence asking for help. I knew that if I were to ask something, people were mostly willing to tell me the answer or to give a hand. My feeling of getting nervous when asking something disappeared pretty much. I still have the nerve, however it is quite controllable. Don't be afraid of asking!
|
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
SEA HEE CHOI(최세희)/Don't be afraid of Asking/Thu 1-3pm
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Saehee! it's Dana Eun from the writing class.
ReplyDeleteHere's my feedback on your writing.
1. The main point of your essay is to not be afraid of asking for help. This topic is much interesting as I was one of the people who had fear of asking questions.
2. There's 2 positive points that I found. First, I liked the organization of this writing as it shows how you changed through the experience in a timely sequence. It was easy to understand and follow what you're trying to deliver. Another thing I liked is how you used quotation marks and direct questioning to express your thoughts. It was very descriptive.
3. Some improvements that I suggest for this writing is to more elaborate on the situation you faced in Germany. If you add more details on where you were lost, it could give more visualization to the readers. For example, you mentioned you went into one of the markets, but what kind of market was it and how did it look like? What kind of impression did this clerk gave to you?
4. I liked how you started you essay with a questioin to get the reader's attention and the writing was well-organized. The part where you explained how your hands were shaking gave me the feeling of that nervousness. Nice writing and see you in class next week! :) Happy Chuseok!
Hello Saehee~! I really like how your sentences are very short and clear. It is easy to read and comprehend. Your grammer is good and the main idea is very clear, too. If there are some improvments you can make, maybe you should give the readers more descriptions or examples of what happened in the market. I felt like the story ended sort of abruptly. But other than that, I like your essay :) See you in class~ !!
ReplyDelete-Kyeong Ju Seo-
Your topic was quite sympathetic and it very nice of you to be not afraid of asking. Your hook is quite common so next time you should try other impressive hook. I think your essay follows chronological order so it was clear to understand. I suggest that you could intensify the episodes in Germany more realistically. Your conclusion also can be more added by your thoughts. Your main verb tense is past and it was good. See you in class
ReplyDeleteFinal Draft
ReplyDeleteHave you ever felt isolated and left alone? Or have you ever felt like there is no one you can ask for help? I bet probably almost everyone had the feeling. When you first go into university, when it is the first day you are doing the part-time job, or even when you are doing the assignments for the classes that you are taking by yourself.
For me, I have always gotten nervous when I needed help on something. Also, I was afraid of asking something to other people. When I needed help, I thank these ways. “What if it’s too obvious question?”’ “What if people think I am such a stupid person who doesn’t even know how to solve that simple thing?”, and “What if they don’t even understand my question?”. I always had the feeling that other people might think I am fool when I needed to ask something.
But, I had a turning point. It was 3 years ago. I had chance to travel over the Europe. The first country I visited was Germany. I know that they are quite good at English. However, in reality, people who can fluently speak English were few. I wished nothing happens. But, things go different way, the “murphy’s law”. I lost my way. I was totally lost. It was middle of the Zeil Street in Frankfurt. I was busy looking around the market and got lost. I had to ask people if I was to make it to my way back to hostel. However, every people I see seemed really busy and have their own ways. I started to get really nervous. My hands were shaking really fast, like I was doing a presentation in front of class. I was thinking “what if people don’t understand my English?, “what if they do something wrong, after knowing I am a foreigner here?,” and even “what if they think I am such a fool who cannot even locate oneself?”. I stood there for 20 minutes, just to realize that there is no way except asking people for help.
I went into one of the market and bought a small candy. I asked the clerk the way to get back to my hostel with very small, unconfident voice. Then, something unexpected happened. Although the clerk was not very fluent in English, he slowly and generously told me the way. I drew me a map and also, he even saw me off outside the market. It wasn’t what I expected.
From then, I gained confidence asking for help. I knew that if I were to ask something, people were mostly willing to tell me the answer or to give a hand. My feeling of getting nervous when asking something disappeared pretty much. I still have the nerve, however it is quite controllable. Don’t be afraid of asking!