Family First
I remember it as clear as day when the terrorist attacks went down on that tragic day of September 11th of 2001. I was home watching television when an emergency news broadcast turned my cartoon channel into a horror show that just occurred in New York City. I was too young then, and I didn't know any better so I assumed that this was some sort of a movie. But I knew something was off when my father stopped putting his tie on and stared at the television in shock with my mother. Then my parents sat both me and my brother and told us to stay at home no matter what for today. And 14 years later, my father told me that this day was the day his life changed forever.
My father was a businessman. He was the founder and the CEO of his company which he ran for over a decade. He was always working the longest and the hardest. He worked day and night and he travelled all over the world to expand his company. He was so busy that according to my mother, I always treated him like a stranger until I was 4 years old because I didn't recognize him. When I asked him why he was so focused on his work, he said, "To me, work came first because my company was both my pride and ambition. It was also the only way I could make sure that I provide for my family so they would never suffer in the ways I did when I was a child." This was my father the entrepreneur who was full of ambition and driven to succeed and to provide for his family. "But how did this day changed your life forever? It's not like you lost anyone dear to you was taken from you that day or your company was jeopardized as a result," I asked. "Son, that's not it. My priorities and my ambitions… They were all in the wrong place," he said. "What do you mean?" I asked." He replied, "I realized that family must come first." And with that reply, I began to understand what he meant.
On that day 14 years ago, my father was putting his tie on because he had a meeting with a buyer in a café in the New York City. He was eager for this deal because he could expand his reaches to the United States if this deal came through. However, all that joy and ambition went up in smoke along with the innocent lives after the World Trade Center crumbled to the ground leaving a pile of rubble and smoke in the sky. And that very café that he would be shaking hands to finalize the deal of his life, could have turned to his grave should this attack have happened just a couple of hours later. And he would be one of those people with their names on engraved on the memorial today. To him, this was a moment of revelation that made him realize what was truly precious to him in life.
From that point on, my father changed drastically. He decided to stay longer with us at our home in New Jersey and delayed or cancelled all of his business trips. He even helped my mother when she went grocery shopping and we ate dinners together as a family. He even decided to pull out of his original deal and decided to relocate his company in the United States so he could stay close to us. He ended up staying with us for a whole month and this was the longest he has ever stayed with us ever since my mother, my brother, and I moved to United States. He went from a driven businessman to a family man. As he said in the interview, "All of my success won't mean a thing if I leave you all behind helpless like that. Before a businessman, I'm a father and a husband." He continued, "I founded my company to provide for you all but with such dangers out there, how can I just leave you and your mother at home while I travel around the world two thirds of the year? Family means everything to me. Family comes first."
It didn't happen right away but eventually, my father lived up to his promises and changed his priorities after that fateful day. He sold his company and factory in Korea and bought another business in New Jersey. He moved into our home in New Jersey with us a couple of years later after he sorted out his things in Korea. He was with us every day and 4 of us dining together became a regular, normal thing for us. To this day, my father tells me, "Remember, family comes first. A man is nothing if he can't even protect his own family."
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