It was a normal day as always. I came back home from school and asked my mom for some snacks. "Okay. Just a moment. I bought some cookies for you." She had this little smile on her face just like she was having some fun. I wondered and said, "What is it, mom? Something funny?" Then I heard a sound - a small sound of whining of a dog. "I hear a puppy, mom." She was having a bigger smile. "No way! Is it real? Where is she? Is it he or she? My god this has to be real!" I screamed with surprise. My heart pumped so fast and I couldn't wait for her answer. "Yes my dear, he's here. He's waiting for you. Go look for him!" I ran down to my room and there he was, my first doggy.
I couldn't believe it. He was really there, on my bed, waving his tail. He was so small and white. I took a deep breath and sat next to him, gazing at him for a while. He was really there for me. He snuffed at my hand and it seemed like he was saying hi to me. I slowly reached my hand, touched him, petted him, and cuddled him. I could feel his warm body slowly breathing in my hand, reassuring me that he was there. Finally, I got my dog!
I had been begging my parents for a dog back then. Many of my friends had their pets and whenever I see them playing together, I wanted my doggy so bad. But my parents, they seemed quite negative about having a dog. "We're living in an apartment, my dear. We've got no garden and here, it's not big enough to have a dog around." said my parents whenever I talked about a pet. That was quite true but a 11-year-old girl who needed her little friend couldn't understand the situation. All my friends live in an apartment and they have pets, so why can't I? I was so sad and cried for days. My parents seemed very embarrassed but that was not my business.
"You have to be a good girl. It was a tough decision for me and daddy. Take good care of him. He's little and needs your love." said mom. "I already love him! I love my puppy! I'll eat beans and behave myself, I promise! Thank you mom, I love you!" From that day on, he'd been my best friend for 4 years. He followed me everywhere and I took him everywhere. We played together, took a shower together and slept together. He's everywhere in my childhood memory and I thank him for being my best friend ever.
Hi Jeong eun! This is Dana Eun from the writing class.
ReplyDeleteYour experience about having a pet for the first time was very interesting and heart-warming. On the first paragraph where you described the day you met your dog was well elaborated and I could feel your excitement in the writing! I found myself smiling because I felt how happy and grateful you were to finally get a dog, which was your dream. It was very descriptive.
If there's one thing that could be improved, I would say the organization of the paragraphs would be the one. I liked it at the beginning how you started by telling you having an ordinary day but then it turned out to be one of the best days. However, later on, you describe how badly you wanted to have your own dog. I personally thought that it would be better to put that paragraph before you describe the day you met your dog. That way, we can get a background knowledg of how much you wanted a dog and this would have better flow in the writing.
Nice work and see you in class! :)
Hello, Jeong eum, I'm Donghee. I always like to read about dogs, especially if it's something about beautiful first meeting between a kid and a dog. No doubt that I enjoyed your writing. First paragraph was so intriguing! Made me all excited to see how happy you'll be after finding out that you're getting a dog(technically you spoiled it on the title so I already knew what was coming. haha). So I think it was quite easy to read and all smooth but one thing, I want to know for what reason your parent finally decided to give you puppy. Other than that overall the writing was really good and I think you used past tense very well. Also you used the dialog nicely to give the writing reality, making it vivid!
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