His name is Won Geun Lim. I know him since I was 14 years old. We graduated same middle and high school. Since he moved to other close village, his old home was very close to me. Nearly 5 minutes in walk to arrive at his home. However his moved home is also close. It takes 10 minutes to arrive at his home from my house.
He often hears the saying like "Oh you resembles Choo Sung Hoon or Kim Jong Gook" First guy is famous athlete in fighting and second guy is singer and entertainer. Both two guys have some similar points. They both have suntanned skin which colors in copper and have manly shapeness. He is 173 centimeters tall with nearly 75kilograms. He is not fat but with muscles. He likes to do exercise especially weighting and soccer. He now much concentrates on making his body more sinewy. He now occupies in gym. He is personal trainer. He usually got his hair short. I think it is wise choice because he does not fit with long hair. He usually wears training suit. Also it is wise choice. In summer he likes to wear sleeveless t shirts. Because he wants to show off his muscle. It is very childish. Contrary to him I am quite slim. Though I also like to exercise but I do not have an idea about being a personal trainer or occupy in relation with physical acts. Won Geun often tease at me with some words like 'anchovy'. I reply to him as 'lump', 'mass' or 'chunk'. Between us there are no spanking. Since we know each other in middle school we just fought for once and it was the last fought between us.
He is also heavy smoker with drunkard. Since he started weight training, he decreased his drinking. But I think he is very dangerous. He like to drinking very much even he drinks in home about 2 bottle of soju nearly everyday. To his explanation he loves the moment he is drunken. He says when he drinks, his emotion become like a roller coaster. He feel excitement when he is happy and he feels extreme lethargy and depression when he is sad. But those 2 feelings are quite good according to his explanation. I am sometime drink but I do not enjoy in this extent. I am really worry about his health condition. He smokes in his room and he frequently uses steroids and other medicines for his bulking. Also his liver is not in ordinal condition because he drank too much.
Hello! This is Dana Eun and here's my feedback on your writing.
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your essay is that you described his appearance very well. I liked the fact you used some celebrities to compare your friends to. I could easily get the idea of how your friend looks like. Also, I think explaining about his occupation was also a good idea because it helps me to understand why he has such figure and how he's life is.
2. One word I would choose to describe WonGeun's character would be macho! hahah. The descriptions like 'suntanned skin', 'short hair', 'muscles', and 'drunkard' made me choose this word.
3. "Since he moved to other close village, his old home was very close to me." This part is very confusing.
4. Your organization of the essay is quite simple and easy to follow but it lacks the flow. Rather than building it up it seems like you just put down some features of your friend. It would be much better if it had a conclusion and maybe you could connect the 2nd and 3rd paragraph by adding a sentence like "Although he looks super healthy and good in figure I worry about his health very much." This way, it gives more of a connection between paragraphs.
5. I would like to know more about the episodes between you and your friend. Something that can give more ideas about how his personality is really like. Right now, we only have appearance and his life styles/habits. Adding more about personality would be great.
6. I think your intended audience is everyone who knows you because anyone of your acquaintance might be curious about your friend. It could be your friends from university, your parents or your girlfriend.